God dammit, just let me come over and crawl under your covers. You don’t have to love me; all I want is to just be near you.
In my mind I pretend that everything is okay when I know in reality it’s really not. I imagine that I will see you again, and you will fall for me just as I have fallen for you. And in my mind I think about how perfect everything would be with you in the future, and how my hopeless romanticism will come to life. But in my mind, I also know that these are only futile thoughts to get me by, because I know deep down that I am just a fool for you.
Can you fall asleep holding me in your arms one more time, just so I know this is real?
I Still Feel Him: Part I
I feel so foolish saying this, but no one could ever know who happy I am to have you back in my life. And with things going this sweet, I don’t want anything to get in my way and destroy this polished “friendship” we have going. Now that I am older, I’ve realized that I need to be honest and show you who I really am, and just hope you can accept me for me. When I was younger all I wanted to do was impress you by putting on a “cool” facade by packing on the makeup, wearing tight skimpy clothes, and strutting around in too high of heels for a seventeen year old to be wearing. Simply, I had the appearance of a whore, and I thought dressing like your ex was going to get me a place in heart, and a spot on your mind.
Looking back on it all, I am aware now that I was naive and an over all idiot for even thinking you would ever respect me for doing that. And in all honesty, I am ashamed of myself. I should have known that being someone you’re not would never, and will never, get people to fall for you. I’m not a party whore, and I’m not in any way shape or form trying to be a recreation of your ex. I’m a girl with green and blue hair with gauges in my ears, my dog is the current love of my life, I adore Hello Kitty, and enjoy talking like Lumpy Space Princess. I am willing to admit now that I am a complete and total dork and weirdo, and you know what? I am perfectly alright with that. I’m ready to show you all of that now. It might surprise you, it might shock you. You may love it, or you may hate it. And if you aren’t willing to accept it, then at least I can say I was honest and I tried. I’m hoping for the best, and expecting the worst. But all I can do for now, is try to be patient and see where this road takes me.
The first time we met
Your face became etched
In my mind
You were the sun
I was the one
Who worshiped you.
My hands were your guns
Your eyes were my muse.
And I knew you could never love me
I had so much sorrow inside
You could never reach
But can I still keep
A place in your heart?
Talking about this d00d we know...again.
|Me:||If you see him are you gonna talk to him?|
|Jessica:||I dunno. Hot guys make me shy :/ what do i even say?|
|Me:||Hey sexy thang, remember meee? Bahahaha|
|Jessica:||Hahaha. Oh yeah. That'd work!|
|Me:||Then he'd be like "ohhh bby!" and feelin your b00bz in no time!|
|Jessica:||Hahaha. oh good lord.|
|Me:||Does that sound familiar?|
|Jessica:||I feel like I said that to you once.|
|Me:||Hahahaha Yeah you did! and it was about him too!|
Broken VS. The Way We Were Born
You know what’s sad? When you pity for yourself for can’t even accepting the truth. It seems like for the past few years someone has always found a way to hurt me, and leave me abandoned. Someone has always found a way to use me, lie to me, or screw me over. And now that someone that may actually like me wants my attention I don’t know how to react. I feel like I’m so fucked up in the head I can’t even think straight. Constant worry is running through my thoughts to not take anything they say seriously, and to not get attached because I feel as though they’re just going to walk away in the end like everyone else did. I’ve become so used to being on my own that the thought of actually being in a relationship almost scares me. I don’t want to play the victim. I don’t want to feel bad for myself anymore. I just want to feel normal.
We Change, We Wait
Two years now since I met you,
And I just can’t forget about you.
You don’t know what you do to me,
Oh you don’t know what you’re doing to me.
And baby I’m not lost,
I’m just a little confused on what to do.
And it’s all on me,
Oh it’s not you, why can’t you see?
With Ears To See And Eyes To Hear
Falling over, and over again
From all the words that you have said
It written on my heart for everyone to see
From the place I was, to the place I am,
to the place I want to be
For the mountains I’ve been climbing over
and under and over
So tell me how does it feel
How does it feel to be like you?
I think your mouth should be quiet
Cause it never tells the truth now,
So tell me, so tell me why,
Why does it have to be this way?
Why can’t things ever change?